Why I won't get a cochlear implant...

I'm fine with whatever people choose to help them hear, as long as they work.

My hearing loss is in the 80 dB range, and my powerful digital hearing aids (most powerful on the market) bring my hearing back up to 30 dB. I'll use them, because they work for me. I know that hearing aids do not work for everyone.

I've enjoyed reading other people's blogs, such as "Going Deaf in Norway 2007", and "Ear of My Heart". Both of these blogs describe hearing loss caused by ototoxic drugs. Through these blogs, I've found that I'm not alone. I, too, suffer from recruitment. But I've also learned that there is a chance to lose more hearing as time goes by. No wonder then that my hearing loss used to be in the 60 dB range, and now it's in the 80 dB range. In college, my hearing loss was in the 75 dB range. Who knows if I'll lose my hearing as I grow older? Then what? I guess I'll miss listening to music, hearing the TV, etc. C'est la vie.

Because I have a poor speech recognition, my audiologist keeps asking me if I've considered a cochlear implant. My ENT tells me, "nah, you don't need a cochlear implant. Just face the people you're talking to and vice versa, and you'll be fine". So I tell this audiologist that I don't need the cochlear implant because my ENT told me that I didn't need one. So there. I'll listen to my ENT.

Plus, I suspect I can't have a cochlear implant, because I have metal clips in my brain. So a cochlear implant is out for me. Also, I've already been through 4 brain surgeries - I don't think I want to go through another one! Forget it. With my medical condition, I'll probably have to go through future surgeries, as well. But knock on wood, I haven't had to have a surgery since 1988. I hope I don't have another one again - ever. But it's probably very likely that I'll have to have another brain surgery when I get older. Who knows what the future holds?

I even have to have a medical ID bracelet that says "No MRI.". Someone asked me why I had that. Did I have a cochlear implant? Seems like, people are assuming, because I speak so well, and hear OK, and I wear a medical ID bracelet that says "No MRI", that I have a cochlear implant. Interesting! I told her, no, that I had metal clips in my brain, and thus could not have an MRI. I'm scared that should I ever get into a medical emergency, people will take me through the MRI machine instead of taking a CAT scan, and watch out, I would die. I don't know what a cochlear implant would do to me. Besides, I lost my hearing before I acquired language, and even with my hearing aids, I have poor speech recognition. That's just the way it is when you have a pre-lingual loss. You'll never get 100% speech recognition, no matter what technology you use to help you hear.

To be honest, occasionally I'm sad that I can't ever get a cochlear implant. But I've been deaf all of my life, so what does it matter now? A cochlear implant is not a panacea. It's not a cure-all. It's just an advanced hearing aid.

I remember glaring at my mother when she suggested that I get a cochlear implant. I'm like, NO WAY. My mother then said, "oh well, at least there's nerve regeneration in the pipelines." My mom can be so confusing sometimes. She encouraged me to go to Gallaudet, and then she turns around and suggests that I get this or get that. OK, are you accepting me for who I am? Are you accepting of my hearing loss? Then again, my mother is just being a mom. All parents want the best for their children. I can understand her point of view.

OK, fine, I'm all for nerve regeneration - I'd be all over that - but the fact remains that I lost my hearing before I learned language. I don't think ANY of that would help me improve my speech recognition. Sorry.